So deep goes the conditioning that tells us that sex is anything but sacred. I often hear that even after transformative sexual experiences, there is a strong tendency, or at least a habit, to go back to thinking that sex is still sinful in some way, especially for women. Leaving the question of emotion and intention aside for the moment, let's look at the more objective ways that sex can actually be sacred.

By extending the orgasm, we become more and more accustomed to being open to divine union, as one might do in meditation. As with meditation, many of the same skills and techniques are required to stay in this state, e.g., breath and muscle control, focused receptivity and energetic awareness.

Being in the ecstatic state increases the likelihood that latent divine knowledge and powers will manifest. These divine powers include an ability to heal with the use of the ecstatic energy. Increased flow of life force enhances healing methods such as Reiki.

An especially intense sexual or sensual experience often evokes feelings of devotion and adoration in one's partner. They can go so far as to give us a glimpse of our divine nature, of ourselves and our partner. This in turn can have a profound effect on the way we view the world.


Indeed there is a variety of peak experiences that can evoke such transformative effects. Being open to energy is the issue - pain and pleasure are similar in terms of intensity. Few however are more likely to be as pleasurable, or more conducive to seeing the Divinity of the Self and Other. This effect seems to be one of the goals of spirituality. One of Webster's definition of "sacred" is "entitled to reverence and respect."

There does seem to be a catch though, one that perhaps draws the line on when sex is sacred. It brings us back to the question of emotion and intention. I doubt that even the best and longest fuck will open these doors to Divine Union if we choose to keep the heart locked from all painful effects. After all, historically at least, spirituality has been related to a willingness to suffer, which is one of the definitions of passion.

So while this may seem to be a moral question, it makes sense if we look at it in terms of energy and flow. Eastern religions say the energy required for these divine powers to manifest is the "Kundalini" - the energy of transformation. It must rise from the base of the spine, through the various chakras or energy centers, up to the brain.

The heart is on that route in whatever path you are on. Squeezing out the ability to feel also minimizes the amount, type and intensity of energy that will get to the brain. It just might be the chi factor that makes the difference between a great fuck and sacred sex.

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