In Goddess We Trust
SUBTLE BODY SEX vs HIGH FRICTION FUCKING ~ Subtlety, Surrender and Speed ~ by J. Devi
Why drive a car when you can use a transporter?
I have found it quite a challenge to describe working Subtle Sexual Energies when so much of what passes for sex is simply High Friction Fucking. Not that I have anything against a hard fuck, but they are usually quite quick and for some at least, all too dependent on a hard dick.
Fortunately, Subtle Body Sex (SBS) is an alternative which at the very least, doesn't require the physical stamina of a 20 year old in good shape. For some, it is an acquired taste. You try it, you like it, you want it, and lots of it. But, how do you know you've had it? What's the difference? We may have been with such an adept, but we identify the energy with the person, leaving us to pine over the lover we lost rather than the energy we shared.
Identifying adepts at SBS can be equally challenging mostly because they often don't know they are doing something different. Many who figure it out prefer to simply enjoy the fruits of the energy rather than analyze it. However, as a Sagittarius with Minervan tendencies, I am compelled to share my observations on that matter of SBS and sexual wave patterns.
I have found it quite a challenge to describe working Subtle Sexual Energies when so much of what passes for sex is simply High Friction Fucking. Not that I have anything against a hard fuck, but they are usually quite quick and for some at least, all too dependent on a hard dick.
Fortunately, Subtle Body Sex (SBS) is an alternative which at the very least, doesn't require the physical stamina of a 20 year old in good shape. For some, it is an acquired taste. You try it, you like it, you want it, and lots of it. But, how do you know you've had it? What's the difference? We may have been with such an adept, but we identify the energy with the person, leaving us to pine over the lover we lost rather than the energy we shared.
Identifying adepts at SBS can be equally challenging mostly because they often don't know they are doing something different. Many who figure it out prefer to simply enjoy the fruits of the energy rather than analyze it. However, as a Sagittarius with Minervan tendencies, I am compelled to share my observations on that matter of SBS and sexual wave patterns.
INTENSITY ~ Along the same lines of using the electrical current analogy from the last installment.... think of Subtle Sexual Energy as similar to radio waves, as something you tune into. Since it is subtle, it is helpful to have sensitive equipment, both a good transmitter, and a good receiver.
In contrast to various S/M activities, where the build up of tension is achieved by applying more intensity (via speed, pressure, etc.) Subtle Body Sex works more by enhancing receptivity. Receptivity in this case is focused more on the energy field in and around the body, rather than the physical body itself. The difference is almost like tuning to different bandwidths, S/M, HFF, SBS all being different stations.
SPEED ~ While an abundance of time is not essential for Subtle Body Sex, it tends to last longer, much longer than basic sex and especially HFFs. And that is not just because we are trying to make contact with the Eternal.
The simple physical limits of High Speed endurance are the main culprits here. HFFs tend to build up too much heat in one area, which the body must then dissipate through perspiration and panting. That same heat would be better used if circulated throughout the bodies involved, to distribute the load rather than overheat and "short out."
In contrast to various S/M activities, where the build up of tension is achieved by applying more intensity (via speed, pressure, etc.) Subtle Body Sex works more by enhancing receptivity. Receptivity in this case is focused more on the energy field in and around the body, rather than the physical body itself. The difference is almost like tuning to different bandwidths, S/M, HFF, SBS all being different stations.
SPEED ~ While an abundance of time is not essential for Subtle Body Sex, it tends to last longer, much longer than basic sex and especially HFFs. And that is not just because we are trying to make contact with the Eternal.
The simple physical limits of High Speed endurance are the main culprits here. HFFs tend to build up too much heat in one area, which the body must then dissipate through perspiration and panting. That same heat would be better used if circulated throughout the bodies involved, to distribute the load rather than overheat and "short out."
Since we need to keep our blood oxygenated, slower pacing allows the encounter to continue much longer. If enough energy is generated, it can start the motor to transcend to another plane, into another state of being and perception. Time alone will not make this happen. Extended periods of being totally in the moment can.
Like engine valves, we need lubrication. High speed friction even with good Vulvaline leads to numbness, pain and even seizures over time. High speed pounding also compresses the spine, which may work well for quickies and porn flicks, but in the end, it only gets you "off."
I suspect that resistance to speeding up has a direct correlation to the ability to stay tuned to the bandwidth of subtle energies. High speed does not allow much time to adequately process feedback, at least if you want to work with subtle responses. However, if we take the time to read the feedback in each point of contact, the most effective response reveals itself fluidly. The action and reaction can synchronize.
Like engine valves, we need lubrication. High speed friction even with good Vulvaline leads to numbness, pain and even seizures over time. High speed pounding also compresses the spine, which may work well for quickies and porn flicks, but in the end, it only gets you "off."
I suspect that resistance to speeding up has a direct correlation to the ability to stay tuned to the bandwidth of subtle energies. High speed does not allow much time to adequately process feedback, at least if you want to work with subtle responses. However, if we take the time to read the feedback in each point of contact, the most effective response reveals itself fluidly. The action and reaction can synchronize.
SURRENDER and CONTROL ~
The issue of control can define the range of the sexual experience in many ways. For starts, consider that control is a 3rd chakra issue, centered in the solar plexus and home to the ego. Total control has it's moments, without doubt. However, if someone is chronically fixated on controlling the experience and attached to a particular outcome, they minimize their chance of opening to the unexpected.
Control is still important, but moreso in the form of self control. Having enough control to resist speeding up is important. Being able to take the reigns while your lover rides an ecstasy wave is definitely a skill worth developing. But chances are you won't get there if your focus is in making someone come to prove (to yourself) what a great fuck you are.
The ego can't handle the free flow of energy/consciousness. It's like the feds trying to control the Internet. Occasionally it has to step aside and acknowledge that there are Forces greater than itself. Surrendering to these moments is quite different from submitting to the will of another (although it can be good practice.)
We are more likely to connect with these Forces by Tuning into the other and being willing to note and respond to feedback. To let it sink in, we must let go of ego. Working the energy fields around the body will more likely generate enough energy/light for the Attractive Force (Aphrodite) that draws the parties together to reveal itself.
ORGASMS ~ Finally, Orgasms easily distinguish regular sex from Subtle Body Sex. Think of it in wave terms, amplitude and frequency modulation. Normal sex tends to be one up/down segment of a wave. SB orgasms can be like riding waves of ecstasy. (Sure beats that jerky blip from getting off.)
Orgasms in normal sex are genitally centered. Although frequently felt most in the heart chakra, SB orgasms can be experienced anywhere on the body, a finger, a toe, whatever. Some describe them as Total Body Orgasms or Mind Blowing. They can be limitless in number, and they are not limited to space or time. Just thinking each other, or remembering a potent encounter can bring one on.
While there may or may not be that effusion of bodily fluids, there is a remarkably similar release of tension. It's like having a sneeze, you know it when you have it. Unlike regular orgasms, this release does not necessarily have that depleting effect. In fact, the orgasmic energy can be contained within the circuit, thereby increasing the voltage within the system, thus making the next wave even bigger than the last.
I suspect part of what makes this difference is being able to contain the orgasmic energy and not letting it blow out at the 2nd chakra/genital region. If you can keep pulling the energy up (as in a root lock, kegels) it can move up into the upper body (and corresponding chakras) and become far more of a total body experience.
Bringing the orgasms up this way also elongates the orgasmic wave, allowing the whole body to move in a wave fashion as well. ) The back is far more likely to arch and can move in a smooth rhythmic pattern on a crest of orgasmic waves that's like a song that never ends. You can come for hours and not even break a sweat.
First printed in Instant Planet Volume 1, # 4 Spring 2000 All rights reserved.
Orgasms in normal sex are genitally centered. Although frequently felt most in the heart chakra, SB orgasms can be experienced anywhere on the body, a finger, a toe, whatever. Some describe them as Total Body Orgasms or Mind Blowing. They can be limitless in number, and they are not limited to space or time. Just thinking each other, or remembering a potent encounter can bring one on.
While there may or may not be that effusion of bodily fluids, there is a remarkably similar release of tension. It's like having a sneeze, you know it when you have it. Unlike regular orgasms, this release does not necessarily have that depleting effect. In fact, the orgasmic energy can be contained within the circuit, thereby increasing the voltage within the system, thus making the next wave even bigger than the last.
I suspect part of what makes this difference is being able to contain the orgasmic energy and not letting it blow out at the 2nd chakra/genital region. If you can keep pulling the energy up (as in a root lock, kegels) it can move up into the upper body (and corresponding chakras) and become far more of a total body experience.
Bringing the orgasms up this way also elongates the orgasmic wave, allowing the whole body to move in a wave fashion as well. ) The back is far more likely to arch and can move in a smooth rhythmic pattern on a crest of orgasmic waves that's like a song that never ends. You can come for hours and not even break a sweat.
First printed in Instant Planet Volume 1, # 4 Spring 2000 All rights reserved.
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